


In Which Everyone Had a Big Fight and Then There Was an Orgy

by sister_wolf



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-26
Updated: 2007-06-26
Packaged: 2017-10-12 03:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/sister_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*points to the title*</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Everyone Had a Big Fight and Then There Was an Orgy

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://caia-comica.livejournal.com/profile)[**caia_comica**](http://caia-comica.livejournal.com/) gave me the title of a story that I'd never written. It was so perfect that I _had_ to write it.

There were little men pounding on drums inside of Ollie's head. He groaned, opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it.

Martian Manhunter was standing over him, wearing a bra on his head. Ollie blinked, but the vision didn't go away.

"I'm hallucinating," Ollie said experimentally. Manhunter shook his head solemnly, dislodging the bra. "Not hallucinating? Ah, hell."

Ollie sat up very, very carefully, so that his brain wouldn't dribble out of his ears. He felt like he'd been on a three-day bender, but the last thing he could remember was battling a bunch of purple-tentacled aliens. There had been... some sort of purple, sparkly dust? Everything after that was fuzzy, but it certainly _felt_ like he'd had a good time.

He was naked except for his boots and his hat. And faintly sparkly. "Huh."

Actually, now that he looked around, it appeared that _all_ of his teammates were passed out on the soft grass of a pretty little meadow, more or less naked. Batman (still wearing his cowl, the big paranoid freak) was being snuggled by Superman and a thin, red-haired guy. Ollie was assuming, based on the scraps of red fabric which were all that was left of his costume, that the redhead was Flash. _That_ ought to be good for hours of hilarity, once the three of them woke up. If Batman didn't kill him first.

So, that left the burning question of _who_ , exactly, Ollie had scored with. The body on his left-hand side was completely covered in Batman's cape. Blanching at the very thought, Ollie glanced quickly at the Superman/Batman/Flash pile to reassure himself. And on his right-hand side... "Pretty bird."

Black Canary scowled up at him, her hair tangled around her head, her body spread naked across the grass like Venus, or Aphrodite-- one of those naked goddesses, anyway. "Don't even."

Ollie raised his eyebrows innocently. "Don't even what?"

"Merciful Hera." On the other side of Black Canary, Wonder Woman sat up with her hand pressed to her forehead. "Is this what a hangover feels like? And if so, why do humans _ever_ get drunk?" She was naked except for her bracers and tiara. Ollie hastily averted his eyes so that she wouldn't rip his balls off or something for staring at her. There was no telling what a hung-over Wonder Woman might be capable of.

So, if Canary and Wonder Woman were on that side of him, who was on the other? Hawkgirl? _Holy hell_ , speaking of ripping his balls off...

Cautiously, Ollie tugged a little at the edge of the cape. The body underneath groaned and attempted to tug the cape back up, but Ollie's curiosity would not be denied. "Come on, we're all adults here, let's see who you-- _oh my god_."

Squinting up at him, Hal muttered, "Ollie? Whah' happened?"

" _Oh my god_."

Hal sat up, rubbing his hands across his eyes. "What? What is it?" His mouth dropping open, he slowly took in the scene-- naked teammates, Batman _snuggling_ , naked _Ollie_... " **Oh my god**."

"That's what _I_ said!" Ollie figured that he could be excused for getting a little bit hysterical.

Hal looked at him, winced, and quickly looked away. "Here, this ought to..." The team was suddenly clothed in glowing green replicas of their own costumes.

From the sudden feeling of deadly silence emanating from that direction, Ollie could tell the exact moment that the Superman/Batman/Flash pile awoke. Well, and also Flash's startled yelp, followed by the sound of Superman apologizing earnestly.

"So," Hal said.

"So."

They studiously avoided looking at each other. In the background, Superman continued to apologize.

"Never speak of this again?"

Ollie nodded. "Deal."


End file.
